With a siren in the not too far distance, the school bell rang. I thought nothing of it, although the bell seemed to be early. A quick look at my watch confirmed this, but the children were gone by the time I looked up. All of them. With doors swinging shut behind them. Firmly. Only tracks remained in the fresh snow to urge me to get on with the day before it got too sloppy to drive in.
An hour later and I was glued to the radio. I desperately scanned the local twitter feed for news.
"Code Yellow - School is on holding pattern"
~LOCKDOWN~
and my babies inside
my life! my God.
"40-something year old male, possibly armed, over a dozen police vehicles surrounding the scene. Refusing to communicate."
This scene so close to my babies' school that they are locked in for safety. But what safety did I have from the panic that threatened to overwhelm? Tears, friends and prayer. For several excruciating hours. Walking round, and round, and round again, wearing grooves in the floor. Leaving a trail of fear behind me, only to stumble upon it on my next tour around the kitchen.
"Have a tea for your nerves."
"Breathe"
Distractions that didn't work, because I didn't want them to. All I wanted was for it to end. And end now.
And it did. Safely and without harm to anyone, aside from 600 some-odd parent's nerves, plus teachers and their loved ones. Ten hours worth of stand-off. This on Friday the 13th. This after 5 bank robberies in a single day this week, a Hell's Angel biker shot (and 3 others injured), plus several rub 'n tugs torched. This after a full moon that has obviously made my part of the world go a lot too crazy.
Is it Friday yet? Can I call it a day? Can I sign out on life for this week?
My babies lie in their beds sleeping, unruffled by the events of the day. They were curious why I showed up early to sign them out. And why other kids were leaving too. They wondered why I cried all the way home and hugged them fierce once the door was locked. They thought it was a hoot to start the weekend early. Movies, popcorn, pizza and a fire? Sweet!
Sweet; the feel of my life blood tucked under my arms, as we snuggled in our blanket cocoon with blinds drawn to keep out the world.
Breathe. Remember to breathe. Remember that tomorrow is a new day and this one is now done.
Holy cow, Kat! This is true? Today??? I can only imagine the terror. I'm so glad it ended as it did.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I could offer observaions about Fate and messages and other metaphysical musings, but I won't. You already know.
@Patti: message heard loud and clear. The most important thing in my life is my children and their safety. A hell of a way to present it, but perhaps life is telling me to tuck them a little closer & keep the big bad world a little further away.
Deletethank you Patti
xo
damn. that is fricking crazy...i am glad that they are ok...and that you are as well mom...hugs
ReplyDelete@Brian: Even after we were home with the door locked behind us, I still listened to reports to see how it would all play out. I think I sat on the couch hugging the girls until I heard that the school had still been let out (with way more caution than an ordinary day). I couldn't get my mind off the other kids and teachers that were still there.
DeleteHeck, I know the world is a big bad place, but I like my illusion that my corner of the world is a little safer. Without my girlies, I am nothing and that thought kept exploding through my mind. Time for reflection now...
WOW! What a SCARY experience, Katherine!
ReplyDeleteYIKES! And I can only imagine your terror.
So glad your girls are safe and well.
(((( your girls ))))
Sending you much peace.....X
@Ron: Thank you Ron. I can think of much better ways to start a weekend early. While the girls were a little bemused that I was so upset, they appreciated the aftermath of me being dedicated to them for the rest of the night.
DeleteThat was a horrible feeling and I hope and pray that I never have to experience it again. Blessings to you dear man.
OMG! This is terrifying. For awhile now I've been clinging to my son, having nightmares of this scenario and others that threaten to take him from me. And you've lived it?! I'm so, so sorry. Big, big hugs!
ReplyDelete@Stranger: The main thing is that everyone was fine (except for the poor shmuck who had himself surrounded by police for 10 hours). That doesn't mean I wasn't plenty freaked out at the time. Hopefully I won't have to live that day over again. Hopefully you never will either!
Delete